Who’s Gonna Take Care Of Me?
I’m now a few years shy of what is considered “middle age”…and I’m earning just enough for my needs. This is a lot to be thankful for, but I realize that I should not earn “just enough” for me and my family. I should also earn more so that I can eventually retire without having to be financially dependent on somebody else, specifically my kids.
I think it’s an Asian trait that children are expected to take care of their parents in their old age, since their parents took care of them when they were young. But what if your children can’t or won’t take care of you AND you don’t have some money socked away for the years that you would be needing health care the most?
I am glad to see that on the whole, Filipino parents are still well taken cared by their children. They are especially lucky if one of their offspring decides not to get married and just take care of them. But what if none of the children wants to take on that responsibility? What if they only have one child, and by some stroke of bad luck, that child was prematurely taken from them?
My point is: We should all be prepared. We’ll grow old. That’s to be expected. Don’t pin your hopes on your children, because they may not be able to help you as much as you want them to. Set aside some sort of retirement fund so that your children won’t be obliged to cut back on the money intended for his kids in order to support you too.
When I grow old, I want my kids and grandkids to visit me because they want to, because they love me, and not because I need them to take care of me.
I don’t want to expect my children to have to take care of me. If they can, fine. I’d be happy. If they can’t, I hope I’m prepared to take care of myself, especially financially.
——–
This is my official entry to the 19th edition of The Blog Rounds, hosted by Dr. Claire.
thank you for that!
i get the same queries in my head as well, specially since at the moment marriage doesn’t seem to be anywhere in my future. i’ve seen so many patients in the hospital i used to work who are single, very old, and very sick with no one stepping up to take care of them. it’s such a sad way to see a long life end. 
————
September 21st, 2008 at 9:11 amIt’s not just the single ones, Claire. I have a patient who was married but is now widowed. She never had kids. Now, the one taking care of her is her unmarried niece. But what if the niece gets married? Or needs to take care of her own parents? Oh, and since she can’t be her niece’s dependent in Philhealth. I’ve actually advised the family to enroll her as a voluntary Philhealth member. This may help somehow with the financial aspect…I hope. But of course, what about the emotional aspect?
-Joey
I agree with you, Doc Joey. We have to make plans for our retirement years and not expect others, even children, to bear the burden of caring for us. I have a friend who sort of lives an imprisoned life because of a demanding elderly parent. That seems so unfair to the anak.
Or maybe this anak is making the elderly parent an excuse for her being a recluse. It could be possible too.
————-
I thought it’s quite unfair nga to the anak, especially when they were forced to postpone their own happiness for the sake of their parents. I’ve seen a few families who “luckily” have unmarried females who are usually given the task of taking care of the parents since they “don’t have their own family to take care of”. The thing is, what will happen to them in the future when all they do is their duty to their parents? What about their duty to themselves? What about their own lives?
It’s possible, but I think it’s more of the exception. Hmmm.
-Joey
September 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pmAgree with planning our retirement Doc. We should start moving away from the old custom that the burden of taking care of retired parents is on the children.
It’s not a practice here in our country to save up for retirement but we really should.
September 21st, 2008 at 9:05 pm—————
Yes, Cherry, we really should. That’s why for me, I do try to set something up for my retirement, even if it’s just a few extra pesos that I sock away (after I’ve paid for my family’s needs, of course) whenever I have the extra funds. Of course, it’s not going to be enough, but it’s best to start with something than not to start at all.
–Joey
Hello Webmaster,
I am H. and interested in sponsoring your blog and I am contacting you to ask if
you are interested in blog post sponsorship. Please let me know if you have any further questions and if you are interested on this offer.
Yours truly,
H.
October 8th, 2008 at 3:15 pmk5sino@bigstring.com